I personally think its wrong for anyone to be forced into this. Differences & diversity need to be accepted and celebrated.

If anyone chooses to go through this, then he/she should have access to the full arguments from both sides.

Was asked about this by a visitor so I did some research and here's my perspective summed up in 3 areas.

You can bring a horse to water but you can't make him drink. Being stubborn as hell myself, I know the best decisions are made by yourself when you know all the facts.

Rather than say whether it is right or wrong, here's some food for though that I hope will help for the appropriate decision to be made.

A) Methodology of Studies / Arguments Presented
Look deeper into the persuasions, studies and testimonials quoted / presented. Look beyond the passion in the arguments but in the methods, science and logic used to arrive at the findings. If they come from only one group of people, then it's likely the findings are biased.

There isn't clear scientific evidence that indicate the success of conversion therapy as such studies need to be conducted across diverse cross-sections of individuals and not be based predominantly on interviews with subjects arranged by ex-gay ministries; many of them who work at the ministries.

Studies with respondents only from one demographic will always skew results in favour of the group commissioning the study.

B) Methods of Conversion
I found the various methods used to convert distressing as it went to extreme measures like banning the wearing of fashion brands or listening to anything but religious music.

Levy informs me that homosexuality is difficult to treat because it is about more than sexuality -- it is about a way of life. "I want to make a distinction between same-sex attraction and being gay," he says. "That is a whole ideology. It is a lifestyle. It becomes the locus, or organizing principle, of the identity of the human personality." Reparative therapy focuses on getting gays and lesbians to stop talking or walking "gay." One "ex-gay" program in Memphis, Tenn., Refuge, bars men from wearing jewelry, donning Calvin Klein clothes and listening to secular music. http://dir.salon.com/news/feature/2005/07/19/gaytherapy

Does therapy involving immersing yourself completely, filling every waking moment and thought with religious doctrine or another school of thinking in order to cure or change?

This seems more like denial, repression and a replacement approach.

Shouldn't successful conversion free one to lead a life that doesn't involve constant therapy and thought "alteration"?

A stream will flow its natural course. A huge and constant effort is needed to change its flow. Once that effort is neglected it changes back to its natural course. That's the analogy I'd draw when I read how present conversion therapies work.

C) Hear Outcomes From All Sides
The credibility of any therapy or group that is afraid of presenting all the facts and all perspectives should be seriously questioned.

What are the outcomes from all sides; successful, failed, those who've discontinued "conversion"?
What impact has this therapy had on actual people's lives?
What is documented by medical professionals?
What impact have those who've discontinued "conversion" had on other people in their lives?

Truth should not need to hide. Half-truths are a different matter.

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To conclude, I share this document for those who wish to find out more;
Sexual orientation conversion therapy for gay men and lesbians: A scientific examination
http://www.drdoughaldeman.com/doc/ScientificExamination.pdf

Its disheartening to see the harsh exchange of words going on between two groups of people with very differing points of views. The sad thing is this exchanges often becomes heated to the point where it becomes emotional and things are said that doesn't do either side any good.

Harsh and vulgar words that condemn, persecute and incite extreme feelings is not the way to change anyone's minds.

There are other non-confrontational ways to gain understanding, acceptance and respect. Actions speak louder than words.

robingoh and I had spoken about this and I agree with his thinking that right now we need to turn the other cheek, to hold ourselves to a higher standard and to behave in a way that is compassionate, charitable and respectable.

A shouting match never resolves anything. If anything, it polarises even more.

We can choose to show Singapore and the world what LGBT people can do; how much we contribute to society in every aspect, how much we help the underprivileged in the community, the change we can effect for good and what a positive force we are.

By reaching out this way, we touch people directly and I believe it is through these efforts that more people will see, understand, change their minds and possibly accept.

A strong force of poralisation is best met with sincerity of the heart and love which Pink Dot was all about. So let us follow the example Pink Dot has set and continue in that vein.

It was an amazing Saturday. I even got my picture in the newspaper. Look mom ... that's me!


An anonymous visitor to my blog posted "Poster Boy for Pink Dot?" to one of my entries. I'm tickled pink by that.

We've come a long way since the mid-90s when I set up Out Loud & Proud, a website about my coming-out. The intent was to give hope to asian people who were gay and in the closet. To let them know that it is OK to love another guy openly. To show your love for the world to see.

I would have never imagined in my 20s that I'd be participating in something so significant in 2009.

Just wanted to share these moving words:

"i just hope for greater awareness and less prejudice ... and everybody getting along and letting people love whoever they want to love" Selena Tan

"i hope that we become more open as a society and respect each other's needs to love and so we can all just live togehter in harmony" Pam Oei

"we are born alone, we go to our graves alone, but there is no reason why any of us should have to live alone in this life without love purely because of intolerance and judgement" Neo Swee Lin

And as Swee Lin quoted "Be the change that you want to see in the world." Mohandas Gandhi

See the pinkdot video taken on that day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9gDazG4cC0

The video encouraging people to come make pinkdot: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDdoT7opmrg

It's been a while since this has happened and I'm heartened that it did again recently.

Someone reached out to me and I was the first person he came out to.

He did so after having followed my blog since 2008 saying he felt like he knew me. I started my website "Out, Loud & Proud", http://www.geocities.com/jermyn_toh,when I was in my 20s. I hoped sharing my coming-out story would help people in their journey to be comfortable with themselves as gay people. It's heartening to know my blog continues that.

His concerns for not coming out are discrimintation, social stigma & possibly getting beheaded by family. The stories I shared with him about an openly out friend working as a PA in a ministerial office helped give him a different perspective on discrimination.

All this stems from fear. But I'm gald he took the first step to address his fear and to being a happier person able to come to terms with being himself.

Coming out is a different process for each person and my advice is to take baby steps. To go through this journey of self-discovery, gaining self-confidence & self-empowerment at your own pace.

Being able to be free from hiding behind half-truths is a wonderful & liberating way to live.

Surrounding yourself with people who will reaffirm and love for you for who you really are, all sides of you including the positive and not-so-positive, is the best way to live coz you'll never live in fear of being alone and uncared for.

This just reinforces the need for people to support Pink Dot.

Everyone should have the freedom to love, regardless of sexual orientation. But fear, ignorance and prejudice often stand in the way.

So I do hope this will make those who are closeted, who happen to read this blog, know that there are many others like you and some of them are taking their first tentative steps to be themselves openly.

For those who support freedom to love, do come for Pink Dot happening this Saturday at Hong Ling Park, 4.30pm.




Pink Dot Q&A
Q: Is this event legit or legal?
A: Yes, of course! We have registered for the event and we shall strive to conduct ourselves appropriately, as set out in National Parks’ terms and conditions. Who says we can’t behave and have fun at the same time!

Q: Is this a gay event?
A: As gay as any event can get at Hong Lim Park. The gathering is a show of support for those who believe in openness and love between people, regardless of their sexual orientation. Anyone can attend – straight and gay.

Q: Singapore is a largely conservative country. How can you organize such an event?
A: We love Singapore. This is our home and we believe that diversity is a cornerstone to our civil society. Like it or not, LGBT individuals exist. We are aware that many people harbour much hatred towards the LGBT community. That is why such events are important. It serves to foster understanding, and through that, there is hope for trust and social cohesion.

I really love this ... its a beautiful and moving video.



Together we shall celebrate diversity and equality and create a symbol for Singapore's more inclusive future.

Come & make pink-dot with all those who're going down to Hong Lim Park on Saturday, 16 May 2009, 4.30pm!



Official Site: Official site: http://pinkdot.sg

Blog: http://pinkdotsg.blogspot.com/

There's an amazing event being organised at Hong Lim Park in Singapore in support of the freedom to love.

On 16 May, Saturday at 4.30pm, pinkdot organisers are hoping people will come dressed in pink for an aerial photograph to be taken.

If you support the freedom of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people to love, then I hope you'll participate and dress in pink and join in this "smart mob".

According to pinkdot:
This is not a protest nor a parade, just a simple call for open-minded Singaporeans to come together to form a pink dot.

This pink dot is a celebration of diveristy and equality and as sumbol of Singapore's more inclusive future.

This is 100% legal.

I'm asking all my blogger frens .... please help spread the word for this

This is a show of support for the freedom to love.

:-)

http://www.pinkdot.sg/
http://www.pinkdotsg.blogspot.com/

Just discovered this on youtube.

Its youtube title is the TV Drama of the Japanese Homosexual.

Unfortunately there are no subtitles.

It's quite riveting and the leads are cute.

I wrote a response to this article on Fridae:

Movie boycott called over Hong Kong actor's homophobic remarks

A Hong Kong actor who said in an interview that he would respond with physical violence should another man express any attraction or interest towards him has resulted in a call to boycott the movie he is currently promoting.

Read full article here: http://www.fridae.com/newsfeatures/article.php?articleid=2242&viewarticle=1&searchtype=all

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At the age of 16, i got beat up in an incident similar to the above. I expressed my feelings for a "straight" guy after getting a lot mixed signals.

After gathering my courage to tell this guy, I got dragged into a stairwell several days later and got beat up really badly. The group of 4 straight guys with one on-looker only stopped beating up one gay guy because my friend intervened. I'm wondering how long the bashing would have gone on for if my friend didn't stop it. A lot of bleeding obviously wasn't a good enough indication that they had done enough to teach me a lesson.

Going up to these people again to discuss the issue maturely would surely have resulted in another beating so I doubt having a dialogue with the community would do much to change their mindsets.

I agree with calling a boycott. If these people cannot accept and respect another person, if their first thought is to resort to violence when dealing with an uncomfortable situation, I don't see why people should respect these people or their work. What kind of role models are they setting for the people who look up to them and their work?

We need to send a message clearly to people with such mindsets that violence of any kind against any person is not acceptable.

Bill showed this to me over the weekened ... its HILLARIOUS!!! ... this girl can dance ... its subtle but she's got the moves!!!