Its disheartening to see the harsh exchange of words going on between two groups of people with very differing points of views. The sad thing is this exchanges often becomes heated to the point where it becomes emotional and things are said that doesn't do either side any good.

Harsh and vulgar words that condemn, persecute and incite extreme feelings is not the way to change anyone's minds.

There are other non-confrontational ways to gain understanding, acceptance and respect. Actions speak louder than words.

robingoh and I had spoken about this and I agree with his thinking that right now we need to turn the other cheek, to hold ourselves to a higher standard and to behave in a way that is compassionate, charitable and respectable.

A shouting match never resolves anything. If anything, it polarises even more.

We can choose to show Singapore and the world what LGBT people can do; how much we contribute to society in every aspect, how much we help the underprivileged in the community, the change we can effect for good and what a positive force we are.

By reaching out this way, we touch people directly and I believe it is through these efforts that more people will see, understand, change their minds and possibly accept.

A strong force of poralisation is best met with sincerity of the heart and love which Pink Dot was all about. So let us follow the example Pink Dot has set and continue in that vein.

This comes into question given the recent reporting of PinkDot.sg.

Writing this in response to Sorrie_Bluez comment below as well as numerous other people's rants about inaccurate reporting in local media:


When the online articles first came out, ST had initially estimated 500 people and wrote about PinkDot in a negative way & called the event a protest. Then within a few minutes, netizens witness revisions to the article with the final one a more neutral tone with attendance estimated at 1,000. TodayOnline reported the event in a rather positive manner with the numbers stated at 2,500 but later revised that number down to 1,000. I guess this is so all media in Singapore would not contradict each other. This is in spite of Associated Press and other overseas media reporting the numbers at 2,500.

See the following pics for the changes in the article:


The aerial photographs of the event clearly show numbers that exceed 1,000. Also compare that to the AIDS Candlelight memorial the next day at the SMU Law & Accountancy premises stating 300 had attended which really had just one lecture hall full of people.

Logic clearly points to the numbers not making any sense.

Having been in Malaysia the past 4 years and heard how the mainstream press is slapped for carrying coverage of opposition, it seems with this that Singapore follows the same manner of having a rather strong hold on what is covered and disseminated to those living in Singapore.

As I was sharing with another friend, what results is a gradual distrust of mainstream media and with most people turning to social media for their first source of news.

Here's a survey on attitudes post 8 March election in Malaysia conducted by a leading university.



I wonder what the results will be of a similar survey in Singapore.

It was an amazing Saturday. I even got my picture in the newspaper. Look mom ... that's me!


An anonymous visitor to my blog posted "Poster Boy for Pink Dot?" to one of my entries. I'm tickled pink by that.

We've come a long way since the mid-90s when I set up Out Loud & Proud, a website about my coming-out. The intent was to give hope to asian people who were gay and in the closet. To let them know that it is OK to love another guy openly. To show your love for the world to see.

I would have never imagined in my 20s that I'd be participating in something so significant in 2009.

Just wanted to share these moving words:

"i just hope for greater awareness and less prejudice ... and everybody getting along and letting people love whoever they want to love" Selena Tan

"i hope that we become more open as a society and respect each other's needs to love and so we can all just live togehter in harmony" Pam Oei

"we are born alone, we go to our graves alone, but there is no reason why any of us should have to live alone in this life without love purely because of intolerance and judgement" Neo Swee Lin

And as Swee Lin quoted "Be the change that you want to see in the world." Mohandas Gandhi

See the pinkdot video taken on that day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9gDazG4cC0

The video encouraging people to come make pinkdot: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDdoT7opmrg

It's been a while since this has happened and I'm heartened that it did again recently.

Someone reached out to me and I was the first person he came out to.

He did so after having followed my blog since 2008 saying he felt like he knew me. I started my website "Out, Loud & Proud", http://www.geocities.com/jermyn_toh,when I was in my 20s. I hoped sharing my coming-out story would help people in their journey to be comfortable with themselves as gay people. It's heartening to know my blog continues that.

His concerns for not coming out are discrimintation, social stigma & possibly getting beheaded by family. The stories I shared with him about an openly out friend working as a PA in a ministerial office helped give him a different perspective on discrimination.

All this stems from fear. But I'm gald he took the first step to address his fear and to being a happier person able to come to terms with being himself.

Coming out is a different process for each person and my advice is to take baby steps. To go through this journey of self-discovery, gaining self-confidence & self-empowerment at your own pace.

Being able to be free from hiding behind half-truths is a wonderful & liberating way to live.

Surrounding yourself with people who will reaffirm and love for you for who you really are, all sides of you including the positive and not-so-positive, is the best way to live coz you'll never live in fear of being alone and uncared for.

This just reinforces the need for people to support Pink Dot.

Everyone should have the freedom to love, regardless of sexual orientation. But fear, ignorance and prejudice often stand in the way.

So I do hope this will make those who are closeted, who happen to read this blog, know that there are many others like you and some of them are taking their first tentative steps to be themselves openly.

For those who support freedom to love, do come for Pink Dot happening this Saturday at Hong Ling Park, 4.30pm.




Pink Dot Q&A
Q: Is this event legit or legal?
A: Yes, of course! We have registered for the event and we shall strive to conduct ourselves appropriately, as set out in National Parks’ terms and conditions. Who says we can’t behave and have fun at the same time!

Q: Is this a gay event?
A: As gay as any event can get at Hong Lim Park. The gathering is a show of support for those who believe in openness and love between people, regardless of their sexual orientation. Anyone can attend – straight and gay.

Q: Singapore is a largely conservative country. How can you organize such an event?
A: We love Singapore. This is our home and we believe that diversity is a cornerstone to our civil society. Like it or not, LGBT individuals exist. We are aware that many people harbour much hatred towards the LGBT community. That is why such events are important. It serves to foster understanding, and through that, there is hope for trust and social cohesion.

I really love this ... its a beautiful and moving video.



Together we shall celebrate diversity and equality and create a symbol for Singapore's more inclusive future.

Come & make pink-dot with all those who're going down to Hong Lim Park on Saturday, 16 May 2009, 4.30pm!



Official Site: Official site: http://pinkdot.sg

Blog: http://pinkdotsg.blogspot.com/