Jermyn's Ramblings (scorpiojerm) wrote,
Jermyn's Ramblings
scorpiojerm

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Sparks & Fizzle

from http://jermyntoh.com

Strangely enough I’ve been persuaded out of hermit mode and dating a few people. It’s been interesting to connect with people again on a romantic level. I’ve been single for 3 years now and as 40 approaches, there are moments I wish for the presence of someone in my life besides my close friends. This has led to a few instances where I’ve thought of taking things a little further.

Which brings me to this debate that I’ve been having with myself; a quieter and possibly stabler kind of companionship or one that gets your heart beating faster with sparks and fizzle?

The various guys are all charming and very eligible and we connect on a sane and sensible level but it isn’t a case where there are pangs of longing or bouts of missing him. It’s a kind of connection that is more head than heart.

I almost forgot what it was like to have sparks fly until this kid 13 years younger started chasing me and managed to get me beneath the sheets. It was subsequently revealed to me that this guy was attached so I put a stop to things. But there were fireworks and talking + cuddling at length after made me rethink about taking things further with the other more mature and sensible guys.

I’m getting to the point where I can commit to someone whom there aren’t exactly fireworks with and slowly work at things so deeper feelings develop. But I’m also reminded that sparks & fizzle do make a connection electrifying.

Sigh … I guess the romp that was thrown at me is life’s way of reminding me about what I’ve forgotten in hopes that I consider carefully before making a decision.

Jury is still out on this issue … I’ll let me head and heart ponder a little more and maybe hold out a while longer to see if I do meet someone who stirs both head and heart.
Tags: companionship, gay, growing older, love
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